In sum...

Dear Blogspot,

Egad, it's been so long, old friend.  I apologize for not having made time for you sooner; this may be the first chance I've gotten to simply sit and catch up on mindless websurfing since being home.  Of course, I instantly thought of you (after reading about the Worst Smoothies in America and checking the status of some shipments).  What has kept me away so long, you ask?  Sit down, my dear, and I shall regale my adventures.

As you may recall, I painted my room recently.  I've been meaning to post pictures, but it still looks like a storage room.  I spent a good deal of time re-mounting shelves and pictures and bric-a-brac, but they've not all made their way home yet.  The garage sale I mentioned was decently successful, yet somehow my bank account inflated only marginally.  I'm still not sure where all that money went.  Post-sale, Thomas kindly helped me drag the leftovers to the Community Thrift Store, pick up a desk via Craigslist, and inhale large quantities of food.  It was a sweaty day to say the least. 

About a week ago I started work as a Graduate Assistant!  The first day I met Dr. Shweta Singh, whose research interests concern women and global policy, she asked my concentration and I told her I'd like to work with adoptions.  Her response: "Did you know that women in India are being paid to have babies for international adoptions?".  That's all I'll day about that.

Because of said job, however, I was in Chicago three times last week, typically up at 7 am and home between 10:30 and midnight.  This was a result of the 2 hour commute each way.  The benefit: I was walking and rushing around so much that I could pretty much eat anything I wanted and not worry about it. 

Get this, Blogspot - I saw Chinese folk perform death-defying feats on Friday night!  That's right, I saw Cirque du Shanghai at Navy Pier.  It's an offshoot of Cirque du Soleil, but I'm fairly certain a little less...something.  A little less professional maybe.  Either way, it stressed me out.  I couldn't handle the suspense, I tell you.  A girl on a man on a man on a ladder???  Three men on motorbikes in a spherical cage?!?  My blood pressure was shot.

Speaking of Chinese folk, Thomas's graduation party was Saturday, during which I politely conversed with the same people I haven't really known for the past 2 years.  Immediately afterward I went home and purchased food for my own party the next day.  Have you ever been to Joseph's Market, Blogspot?  I must say, the quality of their produce is just to die for.  But I digress.

The party went very, very well (although I was sad to hear you couldn't make it).  It was wonderful to see my friends, though it still surprises me that people will drive an hour or so just to sit around at my house. 

Guess what!  Thomas got me a Nikon D3000 for graduation!  And the lens form his mother.  I nearly cried.  I very much plan on turning this in to a serious hobby, but it would have taken me forever to finally but one myself.  I've hardly gotten to use it though, with how busy things have been. I forgot to mention, my lovely mother had ankle surgery and my sister (whom the pharmacist now knows by name) did...something to her back, so I (and my father) have been playing nurse/errand-runner.

Additionally, I started classes on Monday!  Working with Individuals and Families.  First, I would like to say that I'm pretty sure every single student in the Chicago area begins their day with a latte.  Second, I am in the vast minority as someone just out of undergrad.  That was surprising and intimidating.  Third, the class itself was extremely unintimidating.  Very basic and general.  But, I suppose, pleasantly easy. 

That evening, She+Him (headed by Zooey Deschanel) held a free concert in Millenium Park.  Now I was excited just because it sounded like something nice to do.  But when I got there, you would have thought Lady Gaga was naked on stage.  The place was overrun with hipsters.  And old people drinking wine.  And children.  I've never seen so many pairs of TOMSshoes in my life!  I mean honestly, the band isn't even that good.  It ended up being disappointingly unenjoyable.

And that brings us to yesterday.  My first day with no scheduled obligations.  I got through about half of my very large to-do list, but spent much of the time playing with my new laptop!  Purchased as a grad present courtesy of Mommy and Daddy so that I could have something light and portable to take to the city.  I love it.  Today I fiddled with my camera, and got 2 free tickets to Arlington Park when I took my sisters car in for an oil change.  How do you feel about gambling, Blogspot?

So, all in all, I'm starting to understand why most people value free time so much.  But, you know, I like feeling productive.  I'm rarely bored, at the least.  Now that I'm sitting here though, I'm not sure what to do with myself.  Hence this extensive letter.  I guess all you really need to know is that things are going well and I'm a very lucky gal. 

Well, I'm off to take a gander at the newly released Lollapalooza schedule and 'Alejandro' music video.  If you're ever at a loss for something to do at 6:00 on a Monday morning, give me a call!  I'll be looking for something to keep me awake on the train.

Yours Truly,

ellynvictoria

Ellyn the Post-Grad

My first task upon returning to my parents' house as a college graduate was to paint the room I've occupied since the summer I turned 13.  Today, after much frustration and hard labor, the task is complete.  My room is by no means perfect; there are poorly spackled bumps where huge screws used to hold shelving, annoyingly imperfect lines where paint leaked under the blue tape (a particularly strong pet peeve of mine), and a million tiny white splatters on the wood floor that I will never discover the end of.  But it's very, very pretty.  I owe endless hours to whomever invented those sliding paint edgers to go in corners and along the wall.  As a result, my coral accent wall is flawless (relatively).  I've been making excuses to enter the room so I can admire my work.  Sometimes I just stand there and look around.

Now, if all goes according to plan, I'll only be living in said room for the summer, so it really shouldn't matter whether I like the decor at this point.  But (shhhhhh don't tell) I may be trying to cope with the complete return to parental dependence.  It's a new and more mature color scheme, so I'm not exactly right back where I was 9 years ago, right?  Ummm... Okay so it sucks.  But I'm trying to focus on the positive.  Mainly, I'm just really proud of myself.  I didn't let the man at the hardware store convince me to buy the more expensive paint (an extravagance we Drathrings are staunchly opposed to).  I only had to ask for help once, when some screws proved too stubborn for my girlish muscles.  Overall, I persevered through scorching temperatures, sleeping in the basement, and the pressure to plan a garage sale and finalize grad school paperwork, to finish the job in three days!  Sign me up for the Ass-Kicking Club.

What does an amateur ass-kicker do next, you might ask?
This weekend:  Execute killer garage sale and make dollas.
This week:  Be the best Graduate Assistant Dr. Shweta Singh ever had.
Next week:  Begin Operation Master of Social Work.

Now, perhaps one day I won't have to rely on garage sales to finance an ice cream date with my BFFs. 

Items in my proverbial "bucket"

AKA, my "Bucket List".  I don't like that term, because it's only become widely used after the movie, which I have no interest in seeing.  What did they call these before the movie?  Wasn't it just "A List of Things to Do Before I Die"?  I'm fine with that.

1. Go to a pro baseball game.  Mostly for the nostalgia.
2. Host a Thanksgiving dinner.  The epitome of homemaking, a skill that by all accounts I should not want to have.  But I do.
3. Adopt a child.  I could spend hours on this.  Rather than conceiving one extra human to use up the world's resources, I can provide for one that already exists.  People often think this lacks warmth, like adopting a child is all about sustainability and efficiency.  Not so.  Think about it.  How many children out there are homeless, starving, or sick?  Or less extreme, are just living in a children's home with no family?  Most people say "Eh, that's sad, but I want a little ball of joy that looks just like me and is a manifestation of my love for my partner".  I could not possibly ignore so many children in need simply because they're not mine.
4. Hike the Appalachian Trail.  From Georgia to Maine, it takes about 6 months.  I'm not sure why from the moment I heard about this I've been set on it.  Maybe it's a sense of accomplishment.
5. Bike 50+ miles in one trip.  Again, a sense of accomplishment maybe?  Just a goal to strive for in something I enjoy.
6. Travel to...everywhere.  My top choices (in no particular order) currently are Norway, Germany, Jerusalem, and Morocco.  I think most other countries are more appealing than America.  They're more interesting and colorful, and less ignorant, and I really just like living in other cultures.

                                          ^Norway (the homeland)
7. Decorate a home...preferably mine.  Again, another feat of homemaking.  But also, I think the impression that your home gives people is important.  I don't want mine to be plain and pretty, but classy yet unique.
8. Have a rooftop or windowsill garden.  Yes, it's sustainable, but also cute.
9. Get a tattoo.  Of something meaningful, but I have no idea what.

Impulsivity strikes again

I look like a lesbian again.  Or a rich suburban mom.  Or Kate Gosselin.  The first time I looked like a lesbian being when I got a faux-hawk 2 years ago.  Here's the story.  I went to get the usual trim today, and chose Noonan's Hair'Em, where I've generally had good experiences.  I was privileged to see Dan Noonan himself, who in his mid-40s has the hair of a 20-something gay man - that is, spiked, gelled, highlighted, and all-around hip.  However, having a wife and children I assume he is not gay.  At first glance I would have thought he was just some old guy who hasn't let go of his youth...but that seems too harsh a judgment considering how extremely friendly and knowledgeable about hair he was.  He recognized immediately that he would need to repair some of the damage done by the Paul Mitchell student during my last trim, and I told him that no one's ever really gotten the angle that I want right, but at this point I'm just trying to grow it out.  He went on to tell me about the many dramatic angles that he's done, as extreme as from the crown of the head in back to below the shoulder in front.  Long story short, after discussing my history of impulsive haircuts and preference for exciting looks, I decided to go quite short in back.  I would not have done this if I did not completely trust his expertise.

So, onward.  I'm not sure if I misunderstood or just didn't realize that it would be quite so short in back, but it is.  Basically my hair is...about 3/4 of an inch long in the back, and the usual shoulder length in the front.  From the from it actually looks great, from the back I indeed look like a lesbian.  I'm not sure if it's a cute lesbian though.  I don't know, overall I'm a little nervous, but I think it will grow out nicely.  Dan did assure me that it looks "sexy" and "sharp" and that my boyfriend would "poop himself".  After letting the mild creepiness of these comments slide, I said "I hope not".

Being a Post-grad

In the past 3 days, I've applied to 5 jobs, called the Loyola Financial Aid office twice, picked out and bought paint samples, budgeted, planned, scheduled, and worried myself crazy.  Is this called being an adult?  It's funny, I thought May Term was gonna be a wonderful time to relax and do nothing, when really it's just time to catch up on everything that school prevented me from doing before.  To be fair, I still get to go back to Bloomington for two weeks of leisure time...but then I have to get all my stuff back home but not moved in so I can paint my room, plan a garage sale, and a graduation party.  You know, I actually don't think this is adulthood...I think it's transitionhood.

Everyone just cool your jets.

Hello, everyone, I'm a quitter.  I've never lasted more than 3 weeks during Lent; I just gave 2 weeks notice at Jimmy John's then quit after a week anyway; and I gave in after 4 days of a separation that was supposed to last a week.  Not to mention my abandoned tap shoes, riding crop, and xylophone. Throughout my life I've been made to feel bad about similar failures.  Not necessarily directly, but comments like "Oh well I just don't like giving up on things I start" or "Oh well I guess only you can make that decision".  Fuck you.  Yes I can make that decision, and I am completely okay with all of the above shortcomings.  Why would I stick continue something that I don't enjoy and is completely unfulfilling?  I mean I'm sorry, but apparently I missed the memo on How to Extract Life Lessons from Situations that Make Your Life Suck. 

I'm not entirely selfish, nor lazy.  In fact I firmly believe that doing one thing each day that you don't want to do builds character.  I really hate riding my bike to the bank sometimes.  I really hate making business calls.  I really hate going to the gym.  But those things are temporary, and I get through them.  Life itself shouldn't be that thing that you're constantly not wanting to do.  Or other particularly prevalent aspects of life itself, like your job and friends.

I really don't care if other people are uncomfortable "quitting" - stick with it if that's what you want.  Just don't try to convince me that your labors are noble.  As long as I don't let others down, I'm perfectly happy exercising my strengths and weaknesses.

Musings.

About half an hour ago I finished the last assignment of my undergraduate career.  Butterflies immediately swarmed my stomach.  It feels like there's this giant void in my life, but I'm not sure whether to attribute that to the lack of school or another formerly salient part of my life which is now lacking, and because of having no schoolwork I'm forced to think about.  It's odd, I've been waiting to finish this paper so that I can start doing a million other things, but now that I can, I don't want to.  I have no motivation.  Maybe that's just because I need to relax and do nothing for a while.  But, as I learned from The Outsiders, "when you haven't got anything to do, you remember things in spite of yourself".   This paragraph does not convey entirely what I mean it to.