Things I love about autumn:
running through pretty neighborhoods where all the houses have pumpkins on the stoop.
the decor.
drinking warm beverages, and the appropriateness of apple cider and pumpkin lattes in that selection.
the food, a la apples, pumpkins, cinnamon, soup, and butternut squash. I could go on.
walking around.
cycling.
layering.
festivals, including the many Oktoberfests and the Bucktown Apple Pie Contest.
speaking of Oktoberfest, fall ales.
being outside.
Halloween.
pumpkin patches and pumpkin carving (but not pumpkin seeds).
the smells!
Things I'm looking forward to this particular fall:
visiting my parents next week, going to craft fairs with my mom and niece, getting apple cider donuts from Tom's market, coffee with my sister, seeing my other sister who's pregnant and this time being normal enough to not think she's carrying an alien (although let's be real, she's too early to be showing), and seeing my dear friend Nikki who I don't talk to nearly enough. Oh, and my puppies of course!
going to the Chicago Botanic Gardens, where I've never been but it's free and I imagine it's gorgeous this time of year. If I could get married (hypothetically, people) anywhere it would be there, but it costs like $20,000.
finally running again, and being better than before BECAUSE I HAVE THE MOST AWESOME SHOES IN THE WORLD (Altra Intuition, ladies; dudes, Altra Instinct. Get them).
speaking of running, the Hot Chocolate 5k! Nom nom.
and also volunteering for the Girls on the Run 5k.
cycling more.
homecoming! camping (fall camping, at that), maybe some hiking, bubble tea from Fusion Brew, seeing friends, and overall being on campus for the first time since graduation.
Perhaps I'm just in a rosy mood because I went to yoga and the farmer's market on this lovely day, and later will go shopping and get coffee with Thomas. It does seem rather early for fall to be setting in so aggressively, and I'm afraid that by mid-December I'll be wishing for warmth again. I guess that means I'll just have to go on vacation!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Reflections on a cliche quote.
You know that quote, "Don't ask what the world needs; ask what makes you come alive, then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who are alive". Or something to that effect. I feel like I fit perfectly into the former category. The dead people who toil every day trying to do what the world needs.
How can anyone come alive if they sit at a desk all day? I realize this contradicts a blog I posted when I started my internship. I still like my nice clean downtown office, and it's an okay temporary internship, but it's not for me. Aside from the monotony, it's extremely depressing and I've thoroughly questioned my choice to be a social worker lately. It just seems hopeless. Few people really get why social problems exist and what it will take to reduce them. I just question the purpose of what I'm doing because I really don't think it will ever work.
This semester has been hard. UIC requires more work than Loyola, plus I'm taking an extra course, so I'm hardly managing and it's only 4 weeks in. I could easily manage it all if I didn't really do anything else, but let's be honest, I can't concentrate that long. I haven't even started working today and am already distracted.
BUT, on a positive note, I think it's just because I have to have a degree in order to do what does make me come alive. Or at least I hope it will. There's an organization called Girls on the Run that aims to get underserved young girls physically active, and (little do they know) I've targeted them as my future employer. In fact, I'm volunteering at their fall 5k (and plan to do more in the spring) in order to get my name out there and prove my commitment to their goals. There's a similar organization called Girls in the Game, which is future employer choice #2, but I'm much less skilled at throwing and kicking and aiming than I am at running. Backup plan: be a dog runner. I would be totally happy with that.
I just have to power through this semester. It's gonna suck, but I keep reminding myself that thousands of people go through med school and law school and other rigorous programs every year. I just have to take it a day at a time. And there are good things, like the weather and my cats and my family and my friends and that I'm finally running again, even if in one minute increments. Oh, and Thomas and I are planning a vacation this winter. Likely either Vermont or somewhere warm if we can find a good Groupon (yes, Vermont in winter is very different than Miami). I'm kinda hoping for Vermont because it's cheaper and we can visit some friends and I might finally learn to ski.
In the meantime, I just bought a make-your-own six-pack in preparation for a ho-down tonight, and I couldn't be more excited. I will almost certainly come alive.
How can anyone come alive if they sit at a desk all day? I realize this contradicts a blog I posted when I started my internship. I still like my nice clean downtown office, and it's an okay temporary internship, but it's not for me. Aside from the monotony, it's extremely depressing and I've thoroughly questioned my choice to be a social worker lately. It just seems hopeless. Few people really get why social problems exist and what it will take to reduce them. I just question the purpose of what I'm doing because I really don't think it will ever work.
This semester has been hard. UIC requires more work than Loyola, plus I'm taking an extra course, so I'm hardly managing and it's only 4 weeks in. I could easily manage it all if I didn't really do anything else, but let's be honest, I can't concentrate that long. I haven't even started working today and am already distracted.
BUT, on a positive note, I think it's just because I have to have a degree in order to do what does make me come alive. Or at least I hope it will. There's an organization called Girls on the Run that aims to get underserved young girls physically active, and (little do they know) I've targeted them as my future employer. In fact, I'm volunteering at their fall 5k (and plan to do more in the spring) in order to get my name out there and prove my commitment to their goals. There's a similar organization called Girls in the Game, which is future employer choice #2, but I'm much less skilled at throwing and kicking and aiming than I am at running. Backup plan: be a dog runner. I would be totally happy with that.
I just have to power through this semester. It's gonna suck, but I keep reminding myself that thousands of people go through med school and law school and other rigorous programs every year. I just have to take it a day at a time. And there are good things, like the weather and my cats and my family and my friends and that I'm finally running again, even if in one minute increments. Oh, and Thomas and I are planning a vacation this winter. Likely either Vermont or somewhere warm if we can find a good Groupon (yes, Vermont in winter is very different than Miami). I'm kinda hoping for Vermont because it's cheaper and we can visit some friends and I might finally learn to ski.
In the meantime, I just bought a make-your-own six-pack in preparation for a ho-down tonight, and I couldn't be more excited. I will almost certainly come alive.
Friday, August 19, 2011
I like to think I'd be running right now.
Had you told me five years ago, heck, probably even two or three, that for my own sake I shouldn't run, I would have said "...'kay, great". I certainly would not have been let down, and I may not have been all that excited because I just didn't run. I was an elliptical gal through and through.
But then I started running because it takes less time (to an extent) and is cheaper than going to the gym. I wasn't phenomenal, but for the first time in my life I ran 4 miles at a time and my pace was less than ten minutes. I recall 5th or 6th grade Ellyn running a mile in 11:01. I learned the joys or actually running outside, running early in the morning, running in the cold (love), and running in the heat (for a reduced distance, usually). I started out with a plan, then abandoned it and didn't run nearly enough for about two months. In June, I got back on the wagon. After about a month I decided some direction was needed, so I consulted the training plan gods and started training for a 15k. On July 7th I set out on the first day on the plan. I pushed myself harder than usual because I was determined to follow through this time. About three minutes from the end of my run, something in my hip...sparked. I don't know how else to describe it. It wasn't a tear or a snap or a pop. I tried to run through it and then it spread to another spot on my hip. So I stopped. And limped home.
The next day I woke up and got ready for work as usual, but by the time I walked out of the alley I couldn't walk any further. I called into work and sat on the couch all morning willing my hip to heal. That evening I was to travel to Green Lake, WI, and had been looking forward to running in the wilderness. I optimistically packed two sets of running clothes just in case. They went unused.
In fact, I haven't run further than it takes to catch a bus or the pedestrian walk signal since then. I went to a bone doctor and even with x-rays he couldn't tell me what was wrong. Just that it didn't seem serious and physical therapy oughta do it. I went to a physical therapist, and she has no idea about the etiology. My progression has been disappointingly slow, though not non-existent. I just have to sit and wait and deal with it and not make it worse.
It sucks. I miss running. The mornings were cool this week and would have been the perfect running temperature. Mornings are nice because no one is out. And I never would have thought I'd say that, but it's true that running just makes you feel wonderful. I'm probably idealizing it, because I know there were days when it was hot and I was tired and the run overall was unimpressive. But I always felt good after. And I guess I was proud, because running accomplishments are measurable. I could say with certainty that I have improved by this much, and I did something today which I couldn't do last week. But now all the stuff I could do before, I can't do anymore.
What's really horrible, is that the injury isn't that bad. It doesn't hurt most of the time, and when it does it's not much. But it's there, just teasing me. I was almost a good runner, and now because of this tiny little strain I have to start all over. No 15k this fall. Goodbye, goals. I read Runner's World and running books and visit running stores; but please don't talk to me about the half-marathon you plan to run, or the great run you just had. Call me whiny, but it's unfair and I want to be fixed now, please.
But then I started running because it takes less time (to an extent) and is cheaper than going to the gym. I wasn't phenomenal, but for the first time in my life I ran 4 miles at a time and my pace was less than ten minutes. I recall 5th or 6th grade Ellyn running a mile in 11:01. I learned the joys or actually running outside, running early in the morning, running in the cold (love), and running in the heat (for a reduced distance, usually). I started out with a plan, then abandoned it and didn't run nearly enough for about two months. In June, I got back on the wagon. After about a month I decided some direction was needed, so I consulted the training plan gods and started training for a 15k. On July 7th I set out on the first day on the plan. I pushed myself harder than usual because I was determined to follow through this time. About three minutes from the end of my run, something in my hip...sparked. I don't know how else to describe it. It wasn't a tear or a snap or a pop. I tried to run through it and then it spread to another spot on my hip. So I stopped. And limped home.
The next day I woke up and got ready for work as usual, but by the time I walked out of the alley I couldn't walk any further. I called into work and sat on the couch all morning willing my hip to heal. That evening I was to travel to Green Lake, WI, and had been looking forward to running in the wilderness. I optimistically packed two sets of running clothes just in case. They went unused.
In fact, I haven't run further than it takes to catch a bus or the pedestrian walk signal since then. I went to a bone doctor and even with x-rays he couldn't tell me what was wrong. Just that it didn't seem serious and physical therapy oughta do it. I went to a physical therapist, and she has no idea about the etiology. My progression has been disappointingly slow, though not non-existent. I just have to sit and wait and deal with it and not make it worse.
It sucks. I miss running. The mornings were cool this week and would have been the perfect running temperature. Mornings are nice because no one is out. And I never would have thought I'd say that, but it's true that running just makes you feel wonderful. I'm probably idealizing it, because I know there were days when it was hot and I was tired and the run overall was unimpressive. But I always felt good after. And I guess I was proud, because running accomplishments are measurable. I could say with certainty that I have improved by this much, and I did something today which I couldn't do last week. But now all the stuff I could do before, I can't do anymore.
What's really horrible, is that the injury isn't that bad. It doesn't hurt most of the time, and when it does it's not much. But it's there, just teasing me. I was almost a good runner, and now because of this tiny little strain I have to start all over. No 15k this fall. Goodbye, goals. I read Runner's World and running books and visit running stores; but please don't talk to me about the half-marathon you plan to run, or the great run you just had. Call me whiny, but it's unfair and I want to be fixed now, please.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
From Stephen Markley, of RedEye fame.
"Americans enjoy squawking about freedom, yet our economic system is designed to constrain. After college, you get a job immediately because those student loan bills are coming. You dare not do anything interesting because you need health insurance from an employer in our privatized system. You work long hours in a job you don't like, and tell yourself—what? You'll find that dream job? Go back to school and get in more debt? We wonder where the innovators and entrepreneurs have gone: They're all in cubicles trying to pay $700 a month in student loans. And remember, these are the lottery winners in American society, the lucky ones."
Thank you, Mr. Markley.
When I initially read this I had a lot to say, but the article was printed 8 days ago and I've since forgotten my eloquence. Here goes.
I believe that college is a time to take chances, make mistakes, get messy; to discover what you're interested in and what makes you passionate.
Unfortunately, this is all occurring while you and your parents spend hundreds of thousands of dollars. So while you may change a lot, and change your mind a lot, over the years (and from my experience, very few people know what they want to do even after they finish college), well, that's too bad because you've already spent the cash and if you discover you would have rather been a chef or traveled the world, too late. You've got debt to pay off, and experimenting with photography in Spain isn't gonna cut it.
I'm not ungrateful for my education, in fact I chose to continue it into the Master's realm (oddly enough, in the hopes that I would make more money. Will it be enough to pay off what I spent on the degree? We'll see). I know I'm very lucky and despite my debt will be just fine.
But I will admit that I feel trapped in this system. I'm not crazy about the job opportunities available to social workers, yet I will inevitably stick with it because it's safe (as safe as jobs can be these days).
I have this crazy hope that I may have to stick it out in a cubicle for a few years, but eventually I'll make enough connections and prove myself an impressive figure in the world of social work that I'll have my pick of the best jobs and one will be perfectly suited to my interests so that I may find it personally and professionally fulfilling. That's as big as I'm willing to dream.
But really, friends notwithstanding, had I known what I know now, I most certainly would have chosen a public institution over IWU, and I may have even just gone to trade school. I'd probably have made more money.
Thank you, Mr. Markley.
When I initially read this I had a lot to say, but the article was printed 8 days ago and I've since forgotten my eloquence. Here goes.
I believe that college is a time to take chances, make mistakes, get messy; to discover what you're interested in and what makes you passionate.
Unfortunately, this is all occurring while you and your parents spend hundreds of thousands of dollars. So while you may change a lot, and change your mind a lot, over the years (and from my experience, very few people know what they want to do even after they finish college), well, that's too bad because you've already spent the cash and if you discover you would have rather been a chef or traveled the world, too late. You've got debt to pay off, and experimenting with photography in Spain isn't gonna cut it.
I'm not ungrateful for my education, in fact I chose to continue it into the Master's realm (oddly enough, in the hopes that I would make more money. Will it be enough to pay off what I spent on the degree? We'll see). I know I'm very lucky and despite my debt will be just fine.
But I will admit that I feel trapped in this system. I'm not crazy about the job opportunities available to social workers, yet I will inevitably stick with it because it's safe (as safe as jobs can be these days).
I have this crazy hope that I may have to stick it out in a cubicle for a few years, but eventually I'll make enough connections and prove myself an impressive figure in the world of social work that I'll have my pick of the best jobs and one will be perfectly suited to my interests so that I may find it personally and professionally fulfilling. That's as big as I'm willing to dream.
But really, friends notwithstanding, had I known what I know now, I most certainly would have chosen a public institution over IWU, and I may have even just gone to trade school. I'd probably have made more money.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Annotated Bibliography
My summer reading list, since about May 10th, has consisted of:
Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
Policy Practice for Social Workers: New Strategies for a New Era - Cummins
Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
- This is the first Vonnegut novel I've read since Slaughterhouse 5 freshman year of high school, when I clearly did not get the finer points. I liked it very much, but don't have much to say aside from that.
- I've been wanting to read this since my very favoritest high school English teacher raved about it. I was highly disappointed. Very philosophical, the guy just goes off for pages about quality and romantics v. realists and I don't even remember anymore. Not that I have anything against philosophy, I just didn't follow this one. It took forever to get through.
- Oh, Chuck Palahniuk. You try so hard to be edgy. There were some very interesting ideas in this, but I just don't buy his characters.
- This was fascinating to me, but perhaps just me. I laughed I cried, but mostly I was just infuriated by what awful parents this girl had.
- Phenomenal. I loved it. It made me love running. Each time I picked it up I wanted to stop reading so that I could go running, but it was so wonderful that I had to keep reading. It's about how modern running (giant cushy soles, cortisone shots for injuries) has made us more prone to injury and pain and that the barefoot running movement is actually pretty valid if done properly (throw in a plot about indigenous central Americans and a crazy ex-boxer). I will always have a connection to this book because the first day I set out on my new and inspired running plan, I pulled something in my leg and haven't run in three weeks. If only I had taken his advice.
- The entire mood of this book is rain. It's almost mystical. Very sad, but very realistic, it's also very "first-novely".
- I just love John Irving. He's just slightly absurd, very original, very believable, and very in touch with human behavior. He has a particular perception about Americans that is never stated outright but that I highly agree with. This book was not quite as good as The Cider House Rules or A Prayer for Owen Meany, but a solid third.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
- Not very far into this one, but it's letting me down a bit. Well, I guess I'm just not sure where it's going. It seems like the plot was exhausted in the first chapter. I expect to not understand much of it.
Policy Practice for Social Workers: New Strategies for a New Era - Cummins
- womp womp wooooooomp.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
4th of July at the lake
Because...I haven't posted pictures in a while.
The thing is though, when you hunker down at the lakefront to take pictures with a bike and full backpack after riding 9 miles, well...you don't really want to move. This limited my subject options. Ah well.
Aaaaand just for fun:
The thing is though, when you hunker down at the lakefront to take pictures with a bike and full backpack after riding 9 miles, well...you don't really want to move. This limited my subject options. Ah well.
Aaaaand just for fun:
!!!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Apparently I thrive on reliability.
I go to an office downtown. I have my very own cubicle, with my very own computer, phone, voicemail, and filing cabinet, which means I don't have to lug a binder full of paperwork back and forth every day. It is next to a window. On Monday I will bring some pictures/flowers/knick-knacks to give the space a personal touch. Every morning there is coffee and tea, and the kitchenette is quite clean. Not only is there a microwave and refrigerator, but a toaster and tea kettle. I have already moved in my coffee creamer, and will likely bring tea and snacks to keep at my desk. The faucet has a Brita filter, which people actually change as needed. People do their dishes with the clean sponge wand and ever-present dish soap. There are no bed bugs. The bathroom light turns on every time, and there is always soap. I don't have to take anyone's food order, or for that matter do anything for anyone but my five superiors (for the record, this is why I'm in social policy and not clinical work). I run in the morning, come home at night and do whatever I want, and spend the weekends snuggling with my kittens.
Though many people find it oppressive, I think I could get used to office life.
Though many people find it oppressive, I think I could get used to office life.
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