I'm exhausted. I've planned every semester with the hope that I could take it easy as a second-semester senior, but Neuroscience has been my downfall. That's not even the whole problem, though. I'm just losing it. I forgot about a meeting last week. I forgot about an obligation an hour from now, and since I'm not prepared, I plan to skip it. I had planned to have my religion paper done last Friday, and I haven't started it yet. Which means I have two papers due this Friday. I left the books for the first one at home. And my hat. I grabbed the wrong set of grad school papers that I planned to look at tonight. Sure I forget little things all the time here and there, but today it just feels like everything. And I've never not been on top of things before. I don't get this behind on homework. I'm reliable. I'm responsible. I do what I'm supposed to do. I earn good references. Though I may not always perform to the best of my abilities, I never blow anything off entirely.
The response to these concerns is often "Hey you've worked hard for four years, take a break, it's not the end of the world". That's dumb. Compared to most IWU students, I really don't work that hard. No one else gets to be lazy, why should I?
Despite what this post may sound like, I wouldn't say I'm hard on myself. I'm not an over-achieving perfectionist. I just feel hugely unprepared and inadequate right now. This is such brain-mush. Sorry.
PS - So I was trying to think of a title for this, and the current one just popped into my head, and made me a lot happier. So good.
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