It's hard out there for a stingy, eco-friendly young lady.

Now that I'm no longer a student (read: no longer have a U-Pass), I've been riding my bike most places to save money. Usually it's fine. I've been a recreational city rider for a while, so I'm confident enough, and while my mother frets over my safety I've always figured if I'm cautious I'll be fine. It's also a great season for riding and the weather has been very forgiving (except that fuckin wind).

Mainly my riding consists of the 4-mile-each-way commute to work. I take a heavily frequented route, which is reassuring to know I'm not alone out there. Yesterday on my ride home:

1. The guy in front of me got clipped by a car that was pulling out from a light that had just changed green. The side of the car bumped his shin and the mirror got his handlebar. The guy was fine, as the car was only going 10 miles per hour, maybe, but he cursed at the driver, rightfully so. The driver was either a malicious bastard or COMPLETELY clueless. I was frazzled.
2. I was riding between cars parked at the curb to my right, and a huuuuuuuuge line of cars waiting at a stop light to my left. This is one of the most unsettling situations since space is very tight and you never know who's going to swing open a door. So I was riding quickly but cautiously when two dudes and a dog stepped from the sidewalk to cross the street in front of me, like right in front of me, giving me not much room to brake, and I thought I was gonna bowl over the dog. However I managed to swerve around them, and in an entirely nonthreatening way said "watch it". I didn't yell, I just sounded annoyed. Then one of the dudes yells back at me: "PEDESTRIAN RIGHTS!". Seriously, bro? You think I don't appreciate pedestrian rights?? If I could describe myself to an employer in three words, one of them would be "pedestrian", and all it entails. I know that pedestrians have rights, but if they don't want to die (or at least be considered a self-important dick) they won't step in front of quickly moving traffic. Bikes are no exception.
3. And while we're at it, all those guys who can't stand being passed by a girl can suck it. I am NOT very fast so this has only happened a couple of times, but it pisses me off. My conclusion is that if I can pass them then they must be pretty slow and have no business trying to prove anything.

To recap: I need a car. Or scooter.

grump grump.

I am seriously honest-to-goodness unbelievably sick of the job hunt. I'm constantly anxious and can't focus on anything else. I refresh my email and phone every 2 minutes just in case someone tried to contact me. When I'm not doing that, I'm checking the same 3 job sites over and over. I've submitted 39 job applications, have interviewed with three of them, and have heard just plain "we already filled the position" from 3 more. 39 applications and I've heard back from 6. Obviously, I have gotten none.

And it's also just a pain. I met with a guy about working at a dog boarder two weeks ago and he basically gave me the job but said he'd have to wait to get it approved by his boss. In the mean time of course I kept looking for jobs because I need something more than minimum wage. He called back today to say I could start Monday, but I turned him down because I'm still holding out for a big girl job and don't want to work there for like 3 weeks then leave. So now I feel like a jerk because he thought I was gonna take it, and I think he still thinks I'm gonna take it if I don't find something by June. But how can I? How can I commit myself to a minimum wage part-time job, and not still look for something else?

After I hung up I nearly vomited with anxiousness. Honest. And now after writing this I want to scream.

I have a Master's Degree, people. Not that that makes me more awesome than anyone, but it certainly makes me qualified to do SOMETHING. Tomorrow I get a diploma that put me $30k in debt (at least...I don't even know) and my employment prospects are looking no better than they would have if I had taken a few technical training courses or gotten an Associate's in something. Actually those people are probably getting paid more because they have actual skills.