:)

A lot of my recent posts have been angry, and since I don't consider myself an angry person, this is an attempt to change course.

I live in Chicago. In (or at least near) a very hoppin' neighborhood with lots of well-known, popular, and delicious restaurants and shops, which I can rarely afford, but which are within range enough to provide for special occasions. My house is small, but cute, and I like it. I ride the train past Wrigley Field two days a week, and each time I get excited because it's been in magazines and movies and it's famous and I live by it.

I go to a school that people have actually heard of. I love my UPASS. I procrastinate a lot, but after this weekend I'll only have 2 papers left in the semester. Speaking of this weekend, I'm going to a Halloween party where I will see lots of good friends.

I've just started getting my own caseload at my internship, which is extremely satisfying because I'm learning that I actually do like being a social worker. The other day I called the Department of Human Services for a client and helped him answer some questions about his public assistance. It made me feel like a competent adult (or at least I can trick DHS into thinking I am). It's the same feeling I had those few times as an RA that my residents actually cared to approach me - I did something today, and it was useful, and it was good. I fit in at my agency and really like my coworkers.

 I have a job! A minimum wage job at a pizza place (which I foolishly thought I could avoid in Chicago), but a job nonetheless. And despite former experience in the food service industry with poor management and druggie staff (a la Jimmy John's), I actually really like this job. My coworkers are interesting and funny. My managers are positive and responsible. I get free pizza. And it's really, really good.

And finally, it's fall. On most days, it's beautiful outside. Even when it's not, it's cold enough to wear adorable cold weather accessories and my pleasantly toasty Thinsulate coat. There are pumpkins on every other doorstep. There is pumpkin in as much of my food as possible. Or sweet potato, or apple, etc, etc.

This was not supposed to be an update on my life, rather the point is this: I've always been waiting for the next stage of life to begin (first job, college, long-term relationship, off-campus apartment, out of my parents house, out of the midwest...), thinking that when I reach it my life will change so substantially that I'll finally be the exciting, interesting person I've always wanted to be, and I'll get a feeling of satisfaction that means I don't have to keep looking anymore. Nothing will be in the way of living my life how I'm supposed to and how I want to.

Well, there are still stages in my life that I look forward to, such as moving away from Chicago and having a full-time job, but for now, I can punch in to my job, log notes at my internship, or read a book in my living room and think "this is good".

And don't even get me started on the autism vaccine...

This is nothing revolutionary, but sometimes I think no one else has any common sense.

Today in my Individual & Family Therapy II course, we discussed social work with children. ADHD was brought up, with its problematic diagnostic system and implications for medicated kids. The presenters mentioned that teachers are often the ones to notice the issue because they spend more time with the children, whose parents usually don't notice any misbehavior. I've heard this before, usually accompanying a discussion on how this results in overdiagnosis.

So, here is what I would like to scream at the world: Did you ever think that kids are naturally rambunctious and can't concentrate on math for an hour each day, and that perhaps some teachers just can't handle 30 children at a time so when one irritates her(him) consistently and s(he) doesn't know how to deal with it, s(he) is going to blame it on the child instead of her(his) inadequate teaching skills? And that the reason parents don't notice is because they only have to deal with that one child, and one child's hyperactivity isn't so bad when not amidst 29 others? And did you know that about half of children diagnosed with ADHD grow out of it, so maybe THAT'S JUST CALLED CHILDHOOD?

Perhaps that is too harsh on teachers who haven't chosen to have overloaded classrooms, but I have a bone to pick with them, and I don't think it's entirely unjustified.

MEDICATION IS NOT AN EASY WAY OUT. You can't just sedate Johnny because you're tired of telling him not to stand on his desk. That's what kids do.

And finally, I realize that teachers can not diagnose anything, but they can significantly pressure parents to seek medication against their better judgment, especially those in lower classes who feel uninformed and that they don't have any power in the matter.

And last last lastly, it is my understanding that ADHD is a biological condition, and therefore I fully support medication when it is actually needed. But otherwise, just be a better teacher.

Home visit

These are okay.

Glee tackles religion

I'm sure no one who reads this blog watched Glee, but I need to make a point. Unfortunately, I've found myself watching the last 2 episodes on Hulu. In my defense, I really do not understand why everyone loves it so much and feel it's not nearly deserving of all the hype. But when every other Facebook status of my feed is about the latest episode, I get curious.

This week's episode began when Finn (sp?), the football playing songster, made a Grilled Cheesus - a grilled cheese with Jesus' face burned into it. Then Kurt, the gay songster, had a fight with his father, who had a heart attack a few days later.

Finn, after some successful prayers to Grilled Cheesus, feels convicted to devote his life to Jesus. He approaches the Glee Club and announces that he wants to devote the week's songs to Jesus. Everyone freaks out and thinks he's super square and gets really uncomfortable talking about Jesus (all but the black girl of course). Kurt protests, claiming religion and gays are not compatible and that he does not believe in God. Second freakout commences, except this time everyone is shocked that Kurt doesn't believe in God. How could he not? How can he know for sure? That's so sad. Let's pity him and spend the entire episode trying to convert him.

I have a major problem with this scenario and I think it is very telling about America's feelings toward religion. I may not be able to articulate this well, sorry, but I still want to say it.

I can't cite this, but I would bet the majority of White Americans identify as Christians. Many of them go to church, and many of them do not but are spiritual. But there are still vast numbers who choose to identify this way, but do not practice anything nor have any daily connection to religion. They talk about Heaven when a loved one dies, go to church on holidays (maybe), and claim that they have been blessed, but ask them the last time they prayed or talked about Jesus to someone else or and you'll see them shift uncomfortably in their seat and cast their eyes about the room.
(*Note - I'm not referring to people who celebrate Christmas yet admittedly don't believe in God, nor those who believe and choose to worship in alternative ways, or people raised as Christian who claim to have no connection to it.)

From my point of view, it's like everyone is expected to believe in God, but not too much. If you're too vocal about it, or make it too much a part of your life, you risk social outcast status. We want to feel protected and have something to turn to during hard times, but those other rules about being virtuous and giving are an inconvenience. We're Christians, but our relationship with Christ is not tangible enough to be part of our identity.  

Yes, as a Christian I should not judge others, go ahead, wag your finger at me. I'll claim instead that I'm not judging, I'm wondering WHY. This seriously doesn't make any sense to me. Why are people who supposedly believe in him so uncomfortable talking about Jesus? Why can't I say I go to church, but I also can't say I'm an atheist? And why does a stupid shit show like Glee have to perpetuate this behavior? AND WHY DOES NO ONE NOTICE? I honest to goodness truly don't care what other people believe in, but I care when claims and behaviors don't match. Rereading this just now, I guess I'm just making the age-old complaint against hypocrisy. But it's not even that I care whether people are following Biblical doctrines enough, I certainly don't. It's really the matter of comfort, of why people are so afraid to admit to any kind of real devotion, of why I get nervous about the reaction every time I tell a fellow Christian "I can't, I'm going to church".

There's really no conclusion to this, I s'pose that's the end. Not at all preaching, it was just on my mind.

The fruits of my labor

Some of my better attempts...I think. They're a little better bigger, if you care to click on them.